Saturday it was hot. So very, very hot. Too hot to actually do anything, hot. Still, we went around doing some of the prepwork for the wedding shopping; craft store apparently no longer sell those lil bunches of wired roses, which is bloody annoying. Sunday was more of the same, though the weather finally broke mid afternoon and it started pouring rain, which then turned into a thunderstorm. It got really close to the house, actually, with thunder and lightening coming right on top of eachother for a while. Today wasn't near as exciting as the weekend, but a 6th baby chicken hatched (under Bitey no less - mebbe now she'll finally stop pecking me when I go for eggs). Since we now have an insane amount of chickens, I finally broke down and put an ad on craigslist offering to give away 6 roosters and 4 hens to a good home; I'll see if I actually get any decent replies.

Monday night, for some reason I'm still not certain of, I stayed up far too late reading the entire Queen of Wands archive, cause I never had; the comic was good, but the effect on my sleep schedule was not.

Tuesday there were European Starlings on the deck, which was rather cool, since I haven't seen them before. When mum got home we went out shopping, so I was finally able to get the lil cow figures from Costal that I'm gonna turn into toppers for the wedding cake, along with stuff for dad and travis for father's day, and books, and fabric. Having ruined my sleep schedule the previous day, I decided to try to just reset it by staying up all night; it worked more or less, though I fell asleep for an hour or so during midmorning.

Wednesday I was understandably rather out of it, what with the not sleeping, but I managed to work on my costume, and scrubbed the bathroom. In the evening I Sharif and I got into another spat, a bit. I hate that we're arguing over something so inconsequential as this.

Thursday Mum and I went out shopping for poker run food and whatnot. The freezers in Cash & Carry are really, really bloody cold. Friday was more poker run prep, getting the union hall set up, hanging tons of union banners (you'd have thought the printer's union would take better care of their sign, really...) Sharif's ride was later than he thought it'd be, so mum and Travis and I ended up staying later than we were expecting, but he got there eventually; despite all the squabbles we've been having lately, it's still really great to see him.

Saturday morning came far, far too early, as I had to wake up at 7 to go the last poker run meeting before the run with mum and Traivs; 7 may not seem that bad to some, but when you've been going to bed at 5... Despite the ungodly early hour, I was reasonably not grumpy (I think the bottle of bawls helped), and after the meeting mum, Travis, and I went out to brekkie. Other errands were also done on the way, such as mailing off mum & Travis's wedding invites - it's official now, no backing out for them, hehe. After food mum dropped me off at thrift world where I met up with Nathan, and we went shopping for our costumes (there's an ineat costume party coming up a few weeks, which is somewhat Sandman themed; Nathan is going as Wanda from A Game of You, and I'm going as the personification of chaos from Seasons of Mists). Nathan and I both found dresses, then went to the fabric store so I could get a few extra things I needed for the costumes I was making. Mum picked me up back at thrift world. I pretty much crashed soon after I got home - slept from 6 to midnight, was up for 4 hours, debated switching to a 6 day a week sleep cycle, but decided against it.

Sunday I didn't do much. It was actually sunny out so mum and I weeded in the front yard and my garden for a while - I got a good part of one of the beds clear. I was invited to move down to Eugene with some of the ineaters, as Locke will be going to school there over the summer; it's kinda tempting, but at the same time it'd mean getting a real job, and officially giving up on my garden ever working out, and giving up the nice free room and board thing I have going on. Went grocery shopping with mum in the afternoon. I had a long phone call in the evening, which I didn't want to have, and am still somewhat upset over.

Today I got my last order from ebay, and holy shit, they went overboard with packaging; there was a chocolate in it, and a free pen, and a hand-written thankyou note for my business, and the actual beads were in a lil box with a big violet ribbon tied around it... I couldn't resist, I had to buy more from the seller (well, and the turtle beads, while cute, weren't green, and I saw they did have some green ones for sale... I worked on my quilt for a while, but ran out of fabric for the background of the design, so will have to go to the fabric store soon.

So, last weekend really wasn't the greatest. Fights with my mum, disagreements with Sharif, lotsa drama and bleh-ness and such. Sunday at least was ok - went wedding cake shopping a bit, and to a craft store (finally). Got some good finds from the remnants bin, but nothing for my the projects I want to work on (a new pentacle, and Sharif and I's costume for the costume party in a couple weeks - we're likely going as personifications of order and chaos from Sandman).

This week has been better, though. Been working on lots of projects - figured out how to use mum's surger and sewed the skirt of the dress that I designed. Came up with a plan for a quilt based on a Sierpinski carpet, and got a lot of it cut out (well, all of the non-background squares, and 24 of the 128 background pieces I'll need >.< stupid fractals). Got in one of those look at house design moods, and drew up a floor plan. Plotted out several new beading projects, once all the parts I ordered get here (I knew that ebay account was a bad idea...) Started on the grand project that is going through all the clothing in my room (which along with all my old stuff from high school and before has the occasional pile of old clothing that was at one point meant to be donated), but only got as far as sorting the stuff i brought home from school, and even then I ended up having to move it all off the bed when I went to sleep. Tried to work on sketches of tattoo ideas for Fritz, but I'm finding it tricky to come up with ones that I like (I'm really flattered he asked me to come up with his tattoo for him, but actually making a good one is hard...)

I had sorta-vague silly hopes of going to rose festival sometime this week (it being one of the very, very few times that it wasn't the same week as the poker run). Mebbe tomorrow...

*sigh* I'm not really sure I feel like writing here much anymore. Saturday there was some drama concerning my journal here. Sharif was upset that I was writing about him. So I've switched over friends only. It's... unsettling, to see that little lock symbol in the corner of all my entries. I don't like it. When I first started writing here, part of my rules was that it was all going to be public. I didn't want to hide anything - I didn't want to feel like I had anything to hide. Another very large part of it was that hardly anyone ever read what I put here, aside from a handful of friends (or at least I assume hardly anyone did - I could have had a large and devoted group of secret stalkers who waited desperately for each update, but I doubt it). As I said when I first started writing, this journal was primarily for me, and I rather doubt if it would be of interest at all to anyone else.

So saturday, as I said, I was quite grumpy for most of the day. We got to Locke's around 3:30, as the plan for the day included him making pizza. *Everyone* showed up. There must have been at least 20 people in that living room. Needless to say, this didn't help my grumpy mood much (also, it made for there being very little pizza to go around, especially of types I liked - I got one (rather small) slice of cheese that didn't have too much weird on it (why oh why do people think goat cheese on pizza is a good idea? why?)) Mac was even there for a bit, but Christa showed up so he left. Speaking of Christa, for some reason her and Kip flirting bugs me - perhaps it's just my mild irrational dislike of her from everyone whining about her for so long, perhaps it's some latent ex-girlfriend possession I feel towards Kip, perhaps it's the whole Mac thing, I don't know. Anyway, I was getting very twitchy and potentially crying-y, so I left to take a walk. Wandered around Locke's neighbourhood for a while, smelled his neighbours' flowers (different coloured irises smell different - I did not know this before), found a small stream and sent a walnut shell boat down it. The people in the house next to Locke's apartment have dug a large pit in their back yard, and at the bottom of this pit they have placed a trampoline, so the top of the trampoline is even with the ground - this is an excellent idea. Ran into Sharif (who was looking for me) on the way back to Locke's - went into the apartment, made it mebbe a minute before getting twitchy again, and left. This time I went to the school playground Sharif had mentioned; Sharif caught up with me about half way there (which is a good thing, as I don't think I'd have found it on my own). We swung on the swing set, and I went down the disappointingly plastic slide, and then we went back.

People started wandering off shortly thereafter - Kip, Ryan, and Locke to get ready for the play, Nathan to hang out with Mac, Glenn to parts unknown (as long as they didn't involve having to see the play he was happy). The play really was rather bad, but it somehow managed to lift my mood - I'm putting it down to happiness derived from watching Tristan visibly suffer during the play rather than some newfound ability to be cheered by by theatre. After the play (and a quick taco bell run - my single slice of pizza not being enough to make a meal) we all met up at Kip's; I'm not gonna say a party that started at midnight was a good idea, but it was fun. Heidi claimed and fell asleep in Kip's room; Heather and Ryan fell asleep snuggling on a love seat (so cute!); Janelle, her girlfriend Kelsey, and Locke were on the other love seat, Janelle kissing Locke which Kelsey was surprisingly ok with; Glenn and Nathan snuggled quite a bit, though Nathan later reported to me that he meant it entirely non-flirtationally. We got back to Sharif's very, very late, and he actually snuggle and fell asleep in bed with me, rather than go straight to the sofa. Of course, when he woke up in the morning he was entirely panicked about it, and ended up jumping out the window so he could claim he spent the night in the fort (someone jumping out a window rather than snuggle with you in the morning, even if it is for entirely different reasons, is still slightly depressing).

Sunday, after Sharif's daring escape, was mostly spent hanging around the house and playing Puzzle Quest. In the evening, after dinner, we met up with Glenn, Heidi, Nathan, and Heather at the coffee place (which I was made to drive to, ick), though we were only there for 5 min before it was decided we should either go to a movie or rent one. None of the ones playing seemed any good, so we ended up renting Enchanted, which actually was quite cute (I don't care what the others think, I liked the swap at the end), and Glenn made us gingersnaps. I actually got a massage from Glenn (finally!), though Sharif got a bit upset when I kinda flashed the room getting off the table (which is a bit silly, as he was the only straight male in the room, and the only other person who saw was Glenn, which was fitting anyway, this being one of the last times I'd see him and it sorta being a tradition). Kip, Ryan, and Brom showed up, and we ended up watching Labyrinth in all it's cheesy 80's-tastic glory.

Monday morning we had brunch with Glenn, with Heidi, Nathan, Ryan, and Heather along as well. I'm going to miss Glenn - he really is fun, and it won't be the same without him. After food and goodbyes, I had a very quick time to pack, then Nathan and Heather arrived and we headed off to Portland. The drive back was uneventful, and actually went surprisingly quickly. We met mum at Thrift world, which meant we got to do a bit of a shopping before I went home - got a few new skirts out of it.

The last few days back in Damascus have been mostly uneventful. I've weeded a bit (my garden is rather hopelessly chocked with weeds, I despair of ever getting it clear). I check chickens every day (you'd think they'd have figured out that there's one box we're letting them set on, which is full of eggs, and set there, and not in the other boxes, but no...); one of the greyish yellow hens seems bound and determined to set on some eggs (despite not ever trying the aforementioned egg-filled box), and as a result has earned the nickname 'bitey' for her rather dedicated defense tactics. I opened an eBay account, which I'm not sure will end well. I've felt rather mopey the last couple days, and I'm not sure why - perhaps it might have something to do with rather strongly wanting to go to the craft store, and not getting to (despite mum saying we could thursday, and only ended up going to safeway instead). Today I pruned a couple shrubs, during which I found myself, after cutting through a rather difficult branch, flipping off the tree and saying "fuck you, bitch." The only other thing worth reporting is that of late there have been several strange cats seen around our property and coming up on the deck. They'll come up to the door, but run away if you even try to approach them, and as far as I can tell have not actually gotten into any fights with Holly or Evie (though the latter two seem rather perturbed by all these trespassers).

*sigh* Every now and then it hits me: I'm graduated. On random surveys I fill out, my occupation is no longer 'student,' it's 'unemployed.' I won't be going back to school in the fall - I don't even know where I'm gonna be in a year (well, hopefully traveling in Europe, but that's another issue). I have no job - I know I should get one, but I have no idea how, or what I should do, or even any way to get there should I find work (I still only have a permit, and utterly hate driving). There is no structure in my life - not even any guaranteed promise of structure in the next year. I plan to apply to grad school, but I have no idea how to even begin doing so, where I should look into going, any of it. Jeff suggested looking into schools in other parts of the country, but I don't want to go someplace where I don't know anyone - and I especially don't want to go someplace far away from Sharif. Stuff I've read about grad school sounds mildly terrifying in any case - am I ready for that? Is that really the path I want to take with my life?

...stupid real world.

Bleh. I didn't sleep well last night, and am cranky as a result.

Friday evening after dinner a bunch of us (bride, groom, and James who performed the wedding included) played a game where a piece of paper with a word on it is attached to each person's forehead, and you can't see your own word, and you have to ask questions to try to guess what it is. Really quite fun, though Sharif and I kept doing ones for each other that no one else got.

Saturday we had a bit of an adventure. Sharif, Sam, Emily, and I were driving to bend so Sam could go to starbucks, when we got a flat tire. No biggie, we though, we have a spare, which the flat tire (which was quite shredded, it was really rather impressive) was soon replaced with. However, not long after that the car started making funny noises again - the spare had gone flat. Shit. Well, I ended up calling AAA (I thank the gods mum got me that card for my birthday), who sent a tow truck. It was a bit of a wait to find one that could fit us all, but we watched Desperate Housewives on Sam's iphone thing, and the tow truck driver when he did get there was nice. We got dropped off in Bend, got the tires replaced, and even made it to starbucks and back to Sunriver in time for the wedding.

The wedding was nice. Took place on top of a bridge over a river - very pretty, but also very hot. Sharif's family is kinda crazy, but in the fun way at least. Sharif and I were gonna attempt to use the hot tub that night, finally break in the new swimsuits we'd bought, but it wasn't working, despite Sharif crawling into a hole in the deck, with only a lighter for light, and later poking at the circuit breaker with a screwdriver.

We left for Wallage Place Sunday morning (after another stop in Bend to get a quick fix on the muffler, and outlet shopping (I got another dress, I think I have a problem)). The drive back was uneventful; we saw a shoe tree in the middle of the desert, but that was about it.

sun - dinner w/ sam
mon - movies at glenn, ryan, (mac), kippu
tues - stayed in, puzzle quest
wed - coffee w/ heidi, orange boy, tabitha, (brom), pizza
thurs - cooked food, glenn?

Had a couple days at home, after graduation, then got dragged off to eastern Oregon for Sharif's cousin's wedding.

Put the days in Damascus to good use, at least. My garden is a bit worse for wear after a couple seasons of neglect, but things are coming up, and budding, and blooming (and being eaten by deer, or mebbe bunnies, but that's another story (speaking of bunnies, there are so many about these days - you can't walk down to the pea patch without tripping over 3 of them)). Chickens are doing well, laying eggs at an insane rate, and the pheasants have started to lay too. Mum and Travis stuck some pheasant eggs under one of the hens that's setting, to see if they'll hatch (it'd have been nice of them to tell me as much before I got eggs, and then had to go put all the ones that had been under than hen back...)

Wednesday I finally used those tickets to OMSI Travis gave me ages ago. Sharif and I, along with Nathan, Tristan, and Janelle went - I only actually had 4 tickets, so we all split the cost of the last one. It's been a long while since I went to OMSI - it was fun, especially with as bitingly snarky people along. Travis's tickets also included the omnimax, so we went to a showing about prehistoric sea monsters which was horribly disneyified, but fun.

Thursday, after a bit of frantic packing (do you know how hard it is to pack for a week when you haven't unpacked stuff from the dorm yet?) Sharif's cousin-aunt-something picked us up, and we had a long car ride with two hyperactive 7th grades out to Sunriver. Sunriver, by the way, is made of a maze of twisty roads and roundabouts, all alike. Met a bit of Sharif's family, but the main wave of them arrived today - so many people, it's kinda scary. Got a bit pink at the practice ceremony, which involved standing out in the middle of a bridge in the hot sun for quite a while (Sharif got to pretend to be a groomsman since they were missing one). We were given a car afterwards, while everyone else went to the rehearsal dinner/lunch, and went out to find the Ross we saw in Bend on the way in Thursday night to purchase swimwear, as this place has a hot tub. Our quest for swimsuits got a bit sidetracked, I'm afraid, and I ended up with two new dresses and a new bra (oops). When we got back we went to the marina where we'd dropped the bridal party off, as we were under the impression that we were to pick them up again sometime between 4 and 4:30 (we got there at 4:07). At 5:30, after having had no sight or sound of them, we headed back to the house, where we found everyone else, who hadn't needed a ride after all >.<

There was a great-horned owl sitting on the roof of the house for a while this evening. I've been mostly trying to find safe little places to hole up in to avoid the insane masses that make up Sharif's family. Sharif's been doing his best to keep me out and involved in the group, though.

Ok, big news first: I is graduated! Yay!

Finals weeks was nasty, though. Nasty sick + nasty finals = yuck. Stayed up til 5 Wednesday night finishing my final paper for aesthetics (which I'm still not sure was coherent - there may have been a paragraph consisting entirely of the word 'bunny' in there...) Still, got it turned in Thursday morning (at 8:30 >.< ) The rest of Thursday was mostly spent sleeping, with a bit of watch Scrubs with Sharif and Nathan thrown in.

Friday I had to finish up my abstract, which I almost got done, then there was picking up my cap and gown, then the honors awards thingie (which took for bloody ever). Friday evening Heather, Nathan, Sharif and I went down to McMinneville (I was made to drive halfway there, which I really wasn't happy about - overstressed from finals and still kinda sick makes for a very cranky, very very much not wanting to drive amy). Still, the evening was fun - watched Evil Dead 1 and 3, ate penis-shaped cake (thanks to Heather) and went to Sharies for foods at 2 in the morning - didn't end up getting back home til 4.

Saturday was Phi Beta Kappa induction, which was at least better than the honors thing (shorter, more amusing, and had better food). Slept most of the rest of Saturday, when I should have been packing. Saturday evening I baked cookies (lots and lots of cookies) over at Nathan's both to use up the baking supplies I had brought over, and to have cookies to give to my profs the next day.

Sunday was a bit of a blur, actually. The maths dept breakfast was at 8 in the morning (far too early for any sane person to be awake, let alone hungry). Chris and Dan and Anne were all there, and Amy M even showed up for the graduation ceremony. Dad wasn't feeling well, so couldn't make it - I knew something like this was gonna happen (we actually I was expecting him to get here but then forget his ticket, but not getting here at all is somewhat close).

I'm sick. >.< My nose is runny, my throat is a bit sore, i have a bit of a fever, and my head alternates between feeling like it's going to split in two and like it's made of drippy wool. On the plus side, had my first final today (and only in class final) for CS2, and it was easy. Now I just have to finish the complex and abstract finals and aesthetics essay in the next 2 days. What fun.